Right to Life: How the Healthcare Crisis Could’ve Been Solved in 2003
By Mike McHone
Here’s a quick question I’ve been pondering: why does the right to life extend only to the unborn and people in comas, but not to people fresh out of the uterus or those who have managed to make more than a few trips around the sun? Frankly, I don’t see the logic in it. How can a group say that all people (see: the unborn) should have a shot at this thing called life, but once you’re in it, fuck off, pal, find your own way through this mess.
Personally, I think I’ve arrived at a solution to help us all out. First, if you are a right winger who’s anti-abortion and anti-universal health care, then you no longer get to use the slogan “Right to Life”. If you’re saving someone from an abortion to give them a chance at life, but then revoking any chance they have at sustaining their life, you’re being hypocritical. It would be like giving someone a right to - gee, I don’t know - be free from religious persecution then having a bunch of religious nuts dictate what can or can’t be taught in high school science classes. That’s absurd! HAHAHAHAHA! And, furthermore, it would never happen here, ‘cause, ya know, we have that whole Constitution thing.
And speaking of the Constitution, there are a few words in that thing that says that ALL PEOPLE have the right to “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness”. If we take the right-wingers rhetoric at face value, then, yes, all of us should have a shot at breathing (I’ve been doing it for years and I’ve got to say it’s pretty kick-ass), but it also says we should be free to pursue happiness. Well, how the hell can I be happy when I’m struggling to pay medical bills, or worried about getting sick, or worried about the possibilities of paying for surgery? Seems kind of unconstitutional.
But that’s mincing words. The real problem many right wingers have with universal healthcare isn’t necessarily the fact that it’s “socialism” (you know, like they have over in the People’s Republic of Brittan, and the United Socialist Irish Republic), it’s the fact that their tax dollars might have to pay for it. I can understand that. I mean, I don’t like it when my tax dollars fund things I hate; stuff like bombs, and napalm, and chemical weapons, and… You get the picture.
But what if I told you there was a way to take care of this health care crisis and not raise taxes while doing so? And furthermore, what if I told you we could’ve done it back in 2003?
Strap in. This will be enlightening and infuriating at the same time.
According to the Heritage Foundation the federal government in 2003 could not account for a whopping $25 billion that it spent on… well, you tell me, because the government can’t. Auditors found that $25 billion WAS spent, they just couldn’t figure out on what. Or where. Or how.
Oh, and then there’s the Defense Department, in that same year, that purchased $100,000,000 in airline tickets (to where, it’s unclear) and then never used them. Yep, they were better off just saving time and lighting a $100,000,000 on fire.
But wait! There’s more. You’re gonna love this little gem, again from the Heritage Foundation: “The Army Corps of Engineers is alleged to have purposely rigged dozens of scientific studies in order to justify expensive (but unnecessary) water projects. The federal government loses $20 billion annually by accidentally overpaying the recipients of government programs.” And according to the website, Citizens Against Government Waste (Cagw.org), “The General Accounting Office reported that 40 federal programs administered by 15 agencies paid out about $35 billion improperly in fiscal 2003.”
And how about that $13 billion spent every year on the War on Drugs - $13 billion dollars every year, the majority of which goes to lock up pot heads, 90 percent of whom weren’t in drug cartels, weren’t trafficking, weren’t dealing, but were in simple possession. Yeah, we spend $13 billion every year locking up the real life equivalents of guys that look like Shaggy from Scooby-Doo.
And let’s not forget about that whole war thing, where we spend about four billion dollars a week fighting in Afghanistan and Iraq. You remember Iraq don’t you? It’s the place where Americans died who weren’t named Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, or Billy Mays.
So here’s how it could’ve been solved already: Take all the money that had been wasted (or lost, or unaccounted for) on the areas listed above, stop spending tax dollars to lock up Shaggy, couple it with just six months worth of the war budget in 2003, which would equal out to $197.1 billion dollars, and give that money to the uninsured 48 million people in this country. That would mean, every man and woman over the age of 18 would have $6,500 just given to them every year, which they could then use to buy and maintain healthcare policies. Granted, the policies wouldn’t be as great as a lot of others, but it would be something, and better than what they have now, which is, of course, nothing.
But, of course, I know a lot of people would still be miffed that people are getting something for free, but the money was being needlessly wasted anyway, and there was nary a peep about government waste compared to the roar over healthcare reform. With these ideas, everybody could’ve come out ahead, or we would’ve at least had a big head start towards a solution we could all agree upon. And here’s the thing: there’s still time to get it done. And we could take it even farther. You want to talk about government waste? How about we look at the government itself? Did you know that people in Congress make approximately $182,000 every year? Do you know how many days they work in that same year? About a hundred.
Yeah. A fucking hundred.
These are the people that are supposed to LEAD us. They are the ones that are supposed to watch out for government waste and needless expenditures. Obviously, they’re not doing their job. So, perhaps we should penalize them. How about, instead of letting them make $182,000 we cut their salaries by 50 percent. (Gee, do you think they could survive on a paltry $91,000 a year?) What do we do with the leftover cash? Put it into healthcare. Think the Governor of South Carolina should pay a fine for using tax funded planes to sneak off to South America for a booty call? So do I, but where should the fine money go? Put it into healthcare.
The solutions, like government rhetoric, are endless.
So there, righties, healthcare problem resolved. And I didn’t raise your taxes.
Will you shut the fuck up now, please?
I love you,
Mike McHone
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