Sully Sullenberger and the Fucked Up Culture in Which We Drone

So, Sully Sullenberger... Remember him? He's the guy that saved all of those people on the Hudson River when his plane encountered a flock of seagulls (the actual birds, not the fucking band)?

So, anyway, Sully got a book deal and a chance to tell his story. You know, nothing against the guy personally, but I was thinking a few weeks ago, somewhere in the dark spaces between beer sips and ejaculations, of how bereft we are of true heroes in this fucking country. You know what I mean?

Think about it: We've given attention, adoration, and love to a pilot whose career highlight has been CRASHING INTO THE HUDSON RIVER!!

All day long, planes land and take off, land and take off, land and take off, and no one says boo about it, but here's a guy whose plane was taken over by birds and he gets a book deal? Now, granted, I'm sure this would've made for a great scene in a Hitchcock film, but really, folks, come on!

Some pilots almost get their planes taken over by terrorists, they fight back, regain control of the thing, and they're barely a blip on the media screen. This guy got his ass kicked by FUCKING SEAGULLS AND LOST!! This Maverick's skills are writing checks his body and airborne foul can't cash!

But what really rashes-up my taint is the fact that this guy just won't go away! He's been on Larry King more times than Larry King's wife. He's been on the Today Show, the Tonight Show, Jimmy Kimmel, CBS, ABC, NBC, Fox News, but the cherry on top was the fact that he made an appearance at the fucking Superbowl this year. That was just taking it too far, simply because I've lived near Detroit my whole life, and the Lions, in my lifetime, have never - NEVER - made it to the Superbowl once, and they've learned to crash and burn with grace for fucking years!

Warhol once said that we'd all be famous for fifteen minutes. If so, would someone please start winding the damn watch?

I love you all.


Mike McHone
8-20-07