Thursday, December 15, 2011

So This is... Christmas?

It’s always amusing this time of year. If it weren’t for those two mortal enemies of populous, average thought (logic and reasonable thinking), you might start to believe all the buzz words and phrases that seem to crop up on “Fox News” and “The 700 Club” when the wind turns cold and the jolly guy invites your kids to sit on his lap (I mean Santa Claus, not Jerry Sandusky).

You’ve heard it: “Keep ‘Christ’ in Christmas!” “Say NO to ‘Happy Holidays’”, and, of course, “There’s a War on Christmas!”

Really? So, what exactly IS a War on Christmas? Are roving gangs of Jewish militants sabotaging the Christmas cards? Are they covertly replacing eggnog with Manischewitz wine, ham with gefilta fish, the “White Christmas” DVD with a Mel Brooks movie? Or have “the gays” formed a FABULOUS militia infiltrated our military? (According to the Village People they already have our Navy.)

It’s kind of funny when certain Christians complain that their traditional Christmas values are under attack. After all, Christmas does celebrate the birth of Christ, but the pageantry surrounding it (lights in the trees, giving gifts, etc.) is rooted in Pagan tradition (as is Easter). So, do you have a tree in your home? Did you put up lights? Will you exchange gifts? If so, you’re engaging in a partially-Pagan tradition!

What I’m asking, brothers and sisters, is this: Why are you complaining that so many groups are trying to enforce their traditions and beliefs on you when you’ve already adopted the traditions of other groups (the Pagans) well over a couple of centuries ago? Simply BECAUSE you celebrate Christmas in the manner that you do (gifts, lights, trees, etc.), is proof enough that you were willing and able to let other groups combine with your own traditions to form a whole new way of celebration!

So, I ask you, what’s the freakin’ problem?

Maybe the biggest enemy on Christian values this time of year isn’t an outside force.

Maybe it’s hypocrisy.

But as far as getting offended over the term “Happy Holidays” is concerned, maybe we should just come up with a new holiday slogan that can appease everyone and slight no one’s belief system.

How about:

“May whatever god/goddess/thing you worship bring you peace/happiness, try real hard not to fight with/offend/kill anyone that doesn’t think like you, and, above all, know when to keep your mouth shut, and be willing to admit that you don’t have all the fucking answers.”

Yeah, it’s probably too long for a Hallmark card, but at least I’m trying.

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